scripturient

I need to admit I've never felt so dry with writing and so anxious about it ever before. I literally eat up all the texts about literary criticism, writing tips, characters design, writing techniques and everything. Yet, I get all blank when I stare at my own notes or the PC screen (or both). I ,mean seriously, I've been writing this entry since Wednesday. Not to mention, I still want to finish the note for the other blog about Japanese mags but it's almost impossible rn, even though I do know a lot about this topic and there is nothing easier in the entire world than writing about fashion magazines.

And I still end up like this:

Remember the fucking linden? I found a way to make our coexistence a little smoother! I bless the days when I found bollywood interesting and I felt an urgent need to complete my wardrobe with some sexy saris. Apparently, they make perfect curtains.

this is my design

Of course, since the day I did it to the window, the weather broke and it's raining. What are the chances, ne?

Btw, if I already tackled the topic of Bollywood - this made my day much brighter - I need to say, Priyanka was never my fav (even though she still has pretty hair), but this thing is just hilarious. Those deep lyrics, tropics, screw it, there's even the hair flip - can it get any "better"?

Maybe it's those holidays? Even though I can't find a calm spot during last weeks, because it's constantly about going somewhere or doing something like this anime con we had on Friday. It was fun after all and I am always pleased when I can just stand and talk about food. A lot. To my surprise, this hasn't made me more creative :P. Anyway, it was nice to get some Asian styled entertainment since I haven't attended any con for a while (and it doesn't look like I will since fate is not nice for me and the money). Also, it was especially nice to get my hands on Ultrastar at last, though they didn't have many songs that we would know (after all, we've sang SNSD'S "Gee" and I guess it wasn't that bad).

Or maybe it's about gaming? I haven't been playing anything for a while (since I was busy with this anime con and everything). I guess Bioshock 2 is still waiting for me. I now shall give it a proper attention!

blood on my name

My day today is one big deja-vu because I haven't slept enough last night. It makes my thinking and work very, very slow - I suppose the language will get hurt too, but whatever.

Last week I've had my last exam and I'm still sitting here waiting for the results. I hope I will get them soon so I can go home for some time. I do want to spend some summer home, I miss my family and cats and a room dark at night ;p. Also, I miss not having the last exam on my mind - it was very hard and extensive, a lots of material to cover etc. Basically, when I firstly saw the exam paper I was like:

But, oh the hell, I wrote... something, I left maybe 2 questions almost blank (out of 12) so I strongly hope it won't be a disaster. I am crossing my fingers to get all the signatures tomorrow so I can go home on weekend.

Which means that I am very close to my summer holidays - I will finally have time for reading all the books I've collected for last months, writing all the prose and playing all the games. I've already inaugurated my precious summer by reading Steinback's Tortilla Flat till 3AM some night lately. I have to say, I wouldn't think I may find a story about bunch of paisanos hungry for wine and fun that interesting, but I do. Though, it may be just Steinback's style. Me gusta. Also, I am just analyzing which games do I want to play and I've recently tried Spicyhorse's Akaneiro - I haven't been playing online games for some time but this one is pretty cool and not very complicated (additional points as for me being deja-vu-ed for the day constantly).

Also, I started rewriting my sketches for scenarios and fiction. I have to say, they looked much more organized in my head and on paper ;p. Though, Celtx is a software of Gods. It helps a lot while constructing a story and I am always pleased when I do not have to drown in 1000s of little notes, not being able to find them later (already happened yesterday - I have never been more interested in my notes than during those several minutes of trying to find my sketch), so all I do is just sit and concentrate. And create.

Also, last week I've watched Hannibal's finale episode and I need to write some *feels*. Of course, the most of what I think about the series has been probably said by my personal Will here but I also want to add that I am not only amazed by the story construction but also by the characters, also those who do not stand in the first line. I mean: let's take the murderers. Of course there is Hani, who is all from head to toes in his little psychopathic world and it's obvious he is a killer. Sometimes you just don't know if you are scared of him because he's planning a fancy dinner party with a lot of meat or you like him because of these scenes where he is a positive protagonist. But, apart from him there are also other murderers like the angels-maker or totem pole guy - I have to say with those two I almost felt bad about them and their story made me more sad than mad because of what they did. This is weird, since I watch a lot of crime series and I am mostly like "Oh yes, just chase down this motherfucker, he should get what he deserves, what an asshole". I never had this attitude with these two murderers. Even though I really hated Jacob Hobbs for his murders I also felt some weird kind of sympathy for him. This is the strangest aspect of this whole show too - the good and evil characters are not always perceived as they should be. It makes me think, it makes it hard to sleep at night later, but that's what makes this show oh so good.

Besides the sparkling dinners of course.

me & the devil

I remember that every time the summer exams time came I found myself being completely unable to adjust my clothing, shoes, concentration span and the amount of the water drank to the actual state of weather - I have to admit these days I am struggling probably the same problem, although, I cannot fit the weather because it is SO DAMN RAINY.

My shoes and hair are so wet every freaking time I need to leave the flat and go out it is slowly driving me mad. Everything began during the long weekend last week - I hoped for some nice sunny days and the only truly sunny day came when I was already setting off. Of course I love spending time at my parent's house, even though for the first time in my life I had a real trouble eating a dinner there, but I blame watching too much Hannibal.

This show is very weird - on one hand it is very creepy, because of the killers, psychopaths, and all of this,   but on the other it rather makes you feel sad because of the murderers, more than being angry at them. If you wonder how the heck is this possible you just need to  watch a few episodes. I couldn't believe this show's fandom can be so full of rainbows and gay unicorns at the same time watching a thriller series, but now I can proudly say it has the full right to claim all those rainbows... and the amount of inner jokes I make with myself probably got much higher than usual.

Also, Pućka made me watching "Arrow" series. It's really well made and engrossing. I like that it shows the development of the super-hero and the viewer is not just put in the position at which everything is already ready. Besides, the OST is brilliant and it fits the story so well. Although, it's not the main soundtrack that got stuck in my head - though I guess I can let go off this song because there is this fucking rain outside and it feels so British :P LOL.

Also, on the other shows I've watched recently I saw the Grey's Anatomy final episode of series 9 and I have to say... there is a huge gap between the previous finals and this one and it's sad because this final was probably the worst of them all. Nothing new, no mind breaking cliff hangers, old problems repeated again and again.

 The only thing I liked was that moment when Christina need to do a surgery on the heart but the lights went off and she had to listen to the heart beat to know what is going wrong with it. I love her chara but this thing was just awesome. Also, later when she was telling this to other characters I felt so envious of her. I mean, she was in that situation and at this very point she knew that this is the thing she wants to do in her life. I do envy her. I wish I had such a situation in my life - whether it was during hosting a show or a class. Too much concentration on this shitty little issue probably won't help me obtaining this, but I rly would love to experience such moment.

srsly I adore her