i can see clearly now

One never knows how much joy seeing Virginia Evans gives unless one gives EFL classes to children and finally you get a B1 student. I have never felt so much satisfaction at just browsing through my old books from teachers' college like this one time yesterday, while planning on a course for this student. Seriously, it starts looking like a personal vendetta, but really, those are just good books. Owh Thomson & Martinet, I'm gonna get to you two as well, hohoho.

 I don't say there is anything that work in the disadvantage of young learners especially, but it's just nice to get a small talk instead of almost-a-talk. Although, I guess in order to teach kids well you need to think like a kid a little for this 1-2 hours. Like, remember that every time you get tired by some activity, the kid is already 10x more tired and probably thinking about killing you in your sleep (lol). Just be prepared at asking questions like how do you make a blue igloo or why all the people cannot speak one language. At least here linguistics comes in handy, as the best tool for flirting and feeding kids' curiosity.

Though seriously, sometimes they say things like "Mouse and cheese doesn't rhyme" and the only thing you can say is: 

Also, I wish they could pay me for the work done at home. I know it's a popular stereotype but one of the reasons I am getting like super-uber organized is that I still have a lot to do at home even if I spend only 2-3 hours daily at work :P. I come back, I need to print materials, write a weekly plan, maybe write a monthly plan (Gosh, I need to finish writing one today~... nah, do not wanna.), check the homeworks, etc, etc. 

Still it brings a little satisfaction every single fucking time a kid remembers that this is not a tee, and not a tie, but a bow-tie.  I am a hell of a teacher lol.

Well, still the thing I am the most glad about is that I got my weekly plan for Uni and it took only one group to change so I can still keep my teaching job almost unchanged. I will wait some more time and think about more students :P. Please Buddha/Allah/Takki/God/Spaghetti God/Shiva/whoever keep this awesome plan as it is so I can keep the job going.

My organization made me currently searching for some balance between hobby and all the other stuff and I am still glad I could keep my radio job too: I guess at least for this year I will have to deal with getting morning hours. Yes it was my own idea, even though I know that I am not the mot talkative person in the morning and still the listening rate in the morning cannot be high.. On the other hand, I am too addicted so I asked myself, do I really need to resign or I can get going with morning hours? So now, I am becoming a morning DJ :P.

Although, let's talk about the balance when it comes to writing. Imposibiru. I know I should be already planning my MS paper, trust me, I am [trying to do so]. Though seriously with my bday gift from my personal Will - let's say it made me dig out some old ideas. I know this was more a pun but I really though about writing criminals for more than 400 signs during creative writing hours. So now I have a plot, some charas and even covers. <3

Wish me luck and give me a kick in the ass.

am I wrong for being fine?

Lately I talked with some of my long-time-haven't-seen family members (one of the few good sides of social media). I am great at little talks so usually while being asked about how are things going and so on I answer good/very well/great. The same family members later were calling my parents while they, in comparison, were rather bragging about how bad/awful/terrible it is now. Clash.

You know, there is this saying "Do not ask a Polish how they are, otherwise they will tell you how they are really doing." And, don't mind me wrong, I know the reality and my parents' attitude to exaggerate things. Though, I still feel that being positive while everything is not going quite well is seen as rather naive.

I am not going to fool you, I am not a flawless person when it comes to perceiving the environment. I am constantly broke since left the college, well, since the crisis everyone is broke anyway, with a job that could be more engaging during summer, not ever sure if satisfied with the studies, with constant health trouble and problems fitting in the category "everyone has stuff that they are not talking about". It doesn't create the most positive image but at the same time it certainly does not intrude on my telling people "How is it going? Great."

To be honest, lately I've even doubted whether I shall continue with my Asia-concerned hobbies anymore. I am a realist when it comes to my job and I don't expect people listening to the radio while we're having a great summer time and I wish for everybody to go see some world. On the long-term matter, I don't even expect myself digging in it forever. Nevertheless, the activity during shows got slightly lower and  you never know how much pain in the ass is such a low decrease unless you find yourself with some spare time on air.

And then, in all of this very hard work occupied with a very low feedback I got some comments like "You know, lately you were talking about this and that so I tried it out and it's awesome" or "hey, I am here and there but I am listening to your show anyway, yay". Also, since I am hell of a teacher I am kind of hosting some writing sessions and people do enjoy this and even ask me whenever we can have another meeting. You see, those are rather trivial things but they instantly made me feel better about what I am doing.

So yes, it is a natural thing to brag about your life like I just did here (and you don't want to hear my inner conversations, trust me). Nonetheless, never ending complaints about life can be troublesome and I am to work very hard on reminding this to myself: be it a matter of age, experience or surroundings, I can understand them, but I wanna stay positive. I still have a good family, friends and some self-realisation going on - it's certainly not naive and enough to be well when things are going wrong. Besides, it's just a bad day, maybe two, maybe a week or year, not a bad life.
  
Well, if it goes too far I can still come back to meditations like I did yesterday - on the time of terrible heats you can only sit and think anyway. So I did and I discovered after such a long pause it's so easy to leave the body but so hard to go back :P.

Besides I found a great comic about it, hahah (personally I rather think of nothing during meditations, but that's some idea):