i need coffee, now.

I found myself getting stressed when there is too little caffeine in my blood, you know. Initially I thought, well, maybe it's about studies/work/shithesis but, nah. I'm pretty sure the problem lies in lack of caffeine.Scientifically, the most caffeine one may find in tea, but even though I drink a sea of tea daily *IT RHYMES* I feel like I lack this one, very specific type of caffeine from coffee. Everything due to the intended detox caused by our coffee getting stale. I really need to buy a new pack soon.

Lately I read that when it comes to getting ideas, having a beer is actually much better than drinking coffee. What are the chances? Does it mean I should get some lager soon? I guess it does.

Anyway, at last I've challenged myself to write a sketch for a crime story. I am so proud of myself, there is everything I wanted to contain in a quite simple way. Now I need to divide the whole into chapters and start writing. I hope I will get myself in at least a few hours of pure writing weekly - my big goal is to find at least 7h a week - I know it's no good to keep writing that strict but I have a serious organization shit going on.

Yeah, yeah, one may ask, what the hell do I spend the day on when I have only two days of studies and working in the afternoon? Well, I still do the radio hosting, even though it goes on mornings it's rather engaging. Also homeworks need someone to check them etc. On the top of that I need time to get my hands into the shithesis (I really like this word) and sometimes I just want to get an hour or two to watch my TV show or play Bioshock Infinite. 

Btw, OMG I've seen the latest DLC trailer lately and it's AWESOME. Gosh, I adore this game so much, I've already miss it, even though I've still haven't finished the gameplay.

  I guess the truth is I'm gonna miss Booker's voice the most :P.

i can see clearly now

One never knows how much joy seeing Virginia Evans gives unless one gives EFL classes to children and finally you get a B1 student. I have never felt so much satisfaction at just browsing through my old books from teachers' college like this one time yesterday, while planning on a course for this student. Seriously, it starts looking like a personal vendetta, but really, those are just good books. Owh Thomson & Martinet, I'm gonna get to you two as well, hohoho.

 I don't say there is anything that work in the disadvantage of young learners especially, but it's just nice to get a small talk instead of almost-a-talk. Although, I guess in order to teach kids well you need to think like a kid a little for this 1-2 hours. Like, remember that every time you get tired by some activity, the kid is already 10x more tired and probably thinking about killing you in your sleep (lol). Just be prepared at asking questions like how do you make a blue igloo or why all the people cannot speak one language. At least here linguistics comes in handy, as the best tool for flirting and feeding kids' curiosity.

Though seriously, sometimes they say things like "Mouse and cheese doesn't rhyme" and the only thing you can say is: 

Also, I wish they could pay me for the work done at home. I know it's a popular stereotype but one of the reasons I am getting like super-uber organized is that I still have a lot to do at home even if I spend only 2-3 hours daily at work :P. I come back, I need to print materials, write a weekly plan, maybe write a monthly plan (Gosh, I need to finish writing one today~... nah, do not wanna.), check the homeworks, etc, etc. 

Still it brings a little satisfaction every single fucking time a kid remembers that this is not a tee, and not a tie, but a bow-tie.  I am a hell of a teacher lol.

Well, still the thing I am the most glad about is that I got my weekly plan for Uni and it took only one group to change so I can still keep my teaching job almost unchanged. I will wait some more time and think about more students :P. Please Buddha/Allah/Takki/God/Spaghetti God/Shiva/whoever keep this awesome plan as it is so I can keep the job going.

My organization made me currently searching for some balance between hobby and all the other stuff and I am still glad I could keep my radio job too: I guess at least for this year I will have to deal with getting morning hours. Yes it was my own idea, even though I know that I am not the mot talkative person in the morning and still the listening rate in the morning cannot be high.. On the other hand, I am too addicted so I asked myself, do I really need to resign or I can get going with morning hours? So now, I am becoming a morning DJ :P.

Although, let's talk about the balance when it comes to writing. Imposibiru. I know I should be already planning my MS paper, trust me, I am [trying to do so]. Though seriously with my bday gift from my personal Will - let's say it made me dig out some old ideas. I know this was more a pun but I really though about writing criminals for more than 400 signs during creative writing hours. So now I have a plot, some charas and even covers. <3

Wish me luck and give me a kick in the ass.

a very confused pinata

I'm kind of tired today, but, since I am writing this entry like forever, I'm just gonna write whatever I feel like. And I feel like I could make my writing more systematized, after all, everything I do now is mostly organizing. I mean it, I can't imagine my life now without a big binder with tone of calendar pages to write on. I remember finding all those 'printable organizing... stuff for teachers' quite funny before, but now I need to make a point - they are saving life.

Besides, who doesn't like free printables?

Yes, the joy of teaching came with September air. I  have to say, I find it quite entertaining. Even the use of some new methods is quite... enjoyable (I mean, please, never tired of Necronomicon-kinda teachers' books). Besides, it's nice to be busy with some work AT LAST. Therefore, so far, I've managed to get as many hours as possible, because, let's get it clear:

 I hope I could keep them also next month but everything depends on school :P.

Geez, school. I STILL haven't found a right theme for my thesis. Really. I mean, I still keep to the theory according to which a writer's head is like a pinata full of ideas - so all in all it's easy to say 'I have no idea what to write about,' but in the reality it's more like 'I have too many damn ideas and I don't know what to choose.' I hope for some light in this area, but the more articles I read around the topics I'm thinking about, the more lost I get. Isn't it silly how probably the worst thing about writing a thesis isn't doing the reading or writing but actually choosing the topic?

Somehow, it makes me very confused about what to do next. I mean, fine, I am here starting with my MBs Thesis but then what? I like learning, I want to learn more, especially now when I've finally found an area(s) at which I feel sure (it's not about European studies, jfyi). The thing is, I really need work and it would be best to find a regular position. Well if it would work fine I could go to some post-graduate school and learn the things I want anyway. Though, one of my big dreams, about which I know I am capable to obtain, is to get PhD, though, I don't want to get it in ESs (because of the areas of academic interests mentioned before). So, I am rly confused, because, together with organizing craze I cannot see what will happen like even next month and planning a lot ahead kills me. 

One would say, so just let it go, but I can't stop over analyzing. Damn.

I don't even say about hobbies. I really need to get more organized with writing. It's too addicting.