the creativity monster

Should I finish a post about last anime con I've attended, I leave it for my other blog in Polish, because who would read it in any foreign lg anyway? Now there's a different thing I need to release from my mind. It seems there was no entry here for some time and it has some reasons, one of which is highly connected with creativity.

The other one can be connected with the fact our neighbors are making night parties all week so I don't sleep well and just yesterday I wouldn't sleep not only because of the noise but also of thinking what you can make out of pork.

There's quite a lot of possibilities.

Let's say it already corresponds to what I am going to write here.

Some time ago, when I was still studying English every damn time we were asked about qualities of a good student/teacher someone would say this fucking word: "creative". It's like every characteristics you already posses in life, being hard-working, resourceful, responsible or so, get's better while combined with "creative". I don't say it's bad - it's pretty amazing, I love creative people, I think of myself as a very creative person, but representations of this quality often brings one to some false, over-sparkling vision of happiness and unicorns, which is definitely not true. Moreover, it makes many amazing creative minds suffer of infinite questioning yourself and your work state when there's perfectly nothing wrong with it. It's the same process, just a little or a lot less happier version of a popular belief.

Creativity monster is just a huge lottery machine that sometimes makes you scream "bingo" and sometimes make you scream:

also in that pretty sexy manner, although, I hope you don't do that on the street.

I guess at this point you can find yourself a little confused, but let me explain this with an example. Together with my personal Will we were discussing our probable psychological or intellectual biorhythms, concerning an idea of how it feels to make things or even think on different levels of the graph. After giving it a second though I got to the conclusion that anywhere is positive, actually, if by "positive" one understands more of an  economical meaning like "giving you no loss".

So, sometimes you feel happy and you make a damn good painting. Sometimes, you feel like shit and you make a damn good painting. From time to time you may also feel like you are somewhere in between of all the states of your mind and you will still create something or rewrite some work you've done already or burn it and you still create a thing (that is ashes actually, but also some warmth and energy, if you take a science outlook).

I don't say what we usually understand as creative is always all cookies&sparkles. I mean, remind yourself of romanticists :P. My point is that, on the contrary to a popular belief it's not only black or white *don't say it comes in all shades of grey, don't say shades of gray*  Also, even I, myself, often forget that it's not some kind of a skill that we can gain with practice. Just a point on a very weird coordinate system.